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[11 May 2010|11:25pm] |
Gotta hand it to him - never took You-Know-Who as a comedian, but that bloke is fucking hysterical. Haven't stopped laughing all evening.
Blah blah, insert inspirational speech about not giving up, tirelessly forging forward in difficult times, blah blah, other people'll say it better than me but C'MON I gotta say it too: Voldemort, Assorted Followers, and every last one of you Purist apologists and conspirators, go fuck yourselves. Looking forward to your arrest.
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| .45 |
[14 Mar 2010|08:37pm] |
Obscenely-Cheerful Turpin,
If you ever want to see your damn ABBA record again, you're going to have to pony up. Six cupcakes from the corner bakery, blue frosting. One to be placed on Edgar Bones's desk, the rest, relinquished to me. Don't try to get the authorities involved.
You can't find me. You can't trace me.
Sincerely, Podmore.
( Warded to the Order )
( Warded to Ed )
( Warded to Severus )
( Warded to Lydia )
( Warded to Emily & Elinor )
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| .41 |
[26 Feb 2010|06:36pm] |
Is this on? Fuck YES I know what I'm doing. It's just a bloody Dic--
Oh hey, look. It's saying everything I say. So what happens if I talkreallyfuckingfastonitdoesthatmakeadifference?
Guess not.
Hi wizarding world. I hate bed-rest more than being shot. My librarian brought me some spy books to read and I've gotten some food from several of you, and that's good. Apparently you people were arguing about dogs in outfits of all fucking things while I was out, so I'm assuming that was the stress and worry and tension driving you mad or whatever because for fuck's sakes.
And don't get shot. Guns are bad, kids. This is Chief Inspector Podmore, over and out.
And P.S.: Fuck you deranged werewolf army. I hope someone mistakes you all for a wild colony of Irish Setters and has your entire lot snipped, assholes.
Sorry Mum. No, I won't swear again. Uh huh.
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| .36 |
[07 Feb 2010|06:21pm] |
I don't know what Skeeter's babbling about now, but speaking as someone who was at the crime scene AND at the Hog's Head last night, there was absolutely nothing to celebrate. I can't comment on Wolfe Manor in detail because the scene is still being processed, but I'm pretty sure that Jugson's last entry spoke for itself.
We took out two bodies from that house. There was a confession of at least two more dead people, one of which had been, up until yesterday, still filed as a 'Missing Person'. Florence Corner would've turned twenty-one by the end of this month, and would've likely had her baby son by now. We probably won't find her body, and we probably won't ever understand why this happened, but as long as You-Know-Who and his followers are allowed to run around like mad dogs, tossing werewolves at our children and our Healers, hurting young families and killing whom they see fit, this is our future.
So yeah, I went to the Hog's Head, and I had too much to drink. Sod off if that bugs you, because seriously, I don't give a fuck. My cousin's dead, we've got two more bodies on the table to process, and we're gonna go through the same bullshit tomorrow.
I am sure as fuck not celebrating.
Anyway. Thank you to all the good people I saw last night. I'm gonna put my umbrella on my bulletin board in my office, goddamn assholes. It matches the blood splatter photos.
( Warded to Melanie Turpin )
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